Conversations


You asked me how I would react if you were gone. But before I tell you the truth, I wish to know what exactly do you mean by 'gone'. Is it going somewhere on some sort of a journey? Or a permanent departure for heaven. 


I believe you meant the latter, that's how serious you looked when you brought up the question. Maybe you had this question because of some insecurities, considering my actions as of late. And while I don't blame you for such a doubt, I truly never expected a question like this. And this is when I had already answered that question some time ago.

Okay, I might have missed the part of telling you the answer, but the thought of you leaving my world has haunted me many times. The first instance severely knocked me down, with red eyes crying over your loss. But since then, I've changed a lot. Seriously.

However, the irony about love is that while it is the strongest emotion in the entire universe, it can make you the weakest you'll ever be. And having somebody who truly loves you makes you stronger, and at the same time, that very person becomes your biggest weakness.

Coming back to your question, no, I won't spend hours crying, but that's not because your loss won't hurt me, but it will be because my entire self would be too numb to act in any way. 

While impulse will drive me to reach out to the heavens and bring you back, the pain would force me down to my knees, ripping me apart.

Over time, I may start recovering, but the lack of direction in my path would always remind me of you, puncturing me again and again.

But yes, I would live and grow and be great, just not happy. 'Cause the joy would have already vanished when you left me.

So to answer your question, and while I might have done it this time, but I don't want to imagine my life without you in it, and I hope you won't need such an answer again. Everything is supposed to change someway and someday, right? But if I could make something permanent, that would be the smile on your face when we see each other.