A Little Love



The number you are trying to call is busy.” This was the sixteenth time in the last five minutes that I heard that message. 'Why won't she answer my call?', I wondered.

Before I could try calling her again, I got a beep on my phone.





'How could you do this to me? How could you cheat on me.', was the text she had sent.

Now this was odd. I mean yes, I did lie to her, but in no way would it be called cheating. At least not in the way she meant.

Listen there's something I want to tell you”, I had said when we talked a little while ago.

Yeah?”

It is about something I told you before.”

Go on.”

Mm...first of all, I love you. And what I told you before, about my ex-girlfriend, it wasn't true. None of it was true. I never did...I...love you.”, I said and was nervously waiting for her response.

Say something”, I continued.

And in reply, she hung up the phone.

This was the first time something like this had happened. This was a big secret revelation between us, but I never expected her to react this way, specially after all that had happened between us.

'Maybe someone came in her room', I tried to comfort myself with reasons for her disconnecting the phone, but a part of me did know that I had messed it up badly. If only I could have waited for sometime, I would have told it to her face. At least then I could have hugged her and apologised in a better way.

As I continued to demean my intelligence, I got another text from her.

You broke my trust and used me for your own fun. You played with my heart, mike. I hate you. I hate you a lot.”

Every word of that message was like a stab to my heart. I felt a hot lump building up in my throat, and with my mother close by, I forced myself to not cry. She didn't know about me and Amy, and I had no interest in letting her know about it. In fact, if she found out, it would make things even worse.

Without wasting any more time, I called her up again. Thankfully, she answered this time.

Amy, what's wrong with you?”

What's wrong with me? How dare you ask me such a question, mike? What's wrong with me is that I trusted you. That I thought you were different. I thought you cared about me but I was wrong.”

I care about you, amy. I love you”
No you don't. You lied to me. Everything between us was a lie.”

What?”

You said it mike. You never loved me. You lied to me about your feelings.”

This wasn't what I said.”

Then what did you say?”

I said that I lied about my ex. I never had a girl in my life before you. I love you.”

I don't know.”, and she hung up again.

'There's no good coming out of this. I have to get to her', I thought, 'and as quickly as possible.'

***

What if she's not coming today?”, I thought. Our class was supposed to begin at 10:00am, and she was already fifteen minutes late. I couldn't lose my only chance of talking with her. I have to sort it all out, and any delay in our conversation would only degrade any chances of success.

'Finally you are here', I heard the teacher say. She was twenty minutes late, but it is okay. All she's got to do now is walk up and sit next to me, and I'll start explaining.
I knew that she would sit with me. This had been routine the entire duration of the classes. In fact, it was during one of these classes, when I expressed my feelings for her.

I'm getting bored”, she whispered to me.

Oh really? I thought this was very interesting.”

No it isn't.”

Well, Amy, you know what?”

What?”

I love you.”

Awww, I love you too, Mike.”

I meant not the friend. Actual heart, romance, valentine kind of I love you.”

Yeah, I love you too.”, she said, smiling.

I wish I could have hugged her then and there. But with the teacher looking on, all I could do is smile back at her. Who says mathematics class is always boring.

While this memory cheered me up a bit, I looked around to see her talking to the teacher, asking permission to sit in the other class. The 'why' for it wasn't really hard to guess, but someone unaware of what had happened a few hours ago would have reacted exactly the same way as our teacher did. Our entire class, including the teacher, knew about the story between Mike and Amy, and everyone who heard her was surprised at her sudden request.

She did get the permit though, and I sat there planning my next move. I will talk to her after class.

***

I thought of everything I could say to her. About what I actually said to her on phone. About what I truly feel for her. And about how I value everything between me and her.

I was nervous, worried and scared about what was coming next, as I made my way towards the class she was in. She wasn't there. I quickly rushed out, wondering if she had already left for home.

Amy”, I called out her name as I saw her standing outside, waiting for her bus. She looked away and started to walk. I ran up to her and grabbed her hand.

Hey stop”, I said.

Get your hands off of me, Mike”, she screamed at me.

Will you give me a chance to explain?”

Why should I? I don't trust you and I don't want to hear anything that you have to say.”

I have to tell you the truth. I never said I don't love you.”

You just did. Goodbye Mike.”

So is it over.”

Is there any reason....”

Yes there is.”

What?”

Amy”, I said as I got down on my knees, with her hand in mine, “you are the only girl in my life...and I love you.” I was hoping for her to melt and say I love you too, 'cause this was by far the best way I had expressed my feelings for her.

Good for you”, she said, and left the place.

Those words she said, felt like a stone hitting a glass mirror. I was shattered as I sat there, tears rolling down my face.

***

That evening, I decided to write a note for her.

Hey Amy, I am sure that you don't want any more apologies, or in fact any sort of communication from my side. I am sorry for breaking your trust. But the truth is, I never said that I don't love you. Do you think I'm dumb enough to let go of the best thing's that has ever happened to me? As much as you know me, I 'm sure you know the answer to this question.

It was twenty third of February last year, that I first saw you. The first word that came to my mind was 'amazing'. And that's what you really are. Everything about you is special. And enchanting. All this time, I thought I was the luckiest person in the world, to have a girl like you by my side.

But how long could something last. And something that started on a lie, could never survive for long.

I can never forget all the special moments we had together. I wish I could have made you feel special too.

I love you Amy, and I'm sorry.

-Mike."

I decided to give her the note the next day in class and then leave, for her own good. Hopefully, she may forgive me someday.

As I reached the class, I saw her sitting alone in the room.

'This is the perfect time', I thought.

Hey Amy.”, I said.

Before she could start screaming again, I pulled out the note from my bag. “I know you don't want to talk to me. Just read this, if you want to. I'm leaving.”

I left the note on her table and walked out of the room. While my heart was hoping that she would come running back to me, my mind knew that that would never happen. I wanted to go back in the room and see if she read the note, but then I knew she would not.

A few seconds later, I found myself returning to the class. I almost bumped into her as I reached the class door.

Apparently, she had read my note and was a little teary-eyed herself. We stood there staring into each other's eyes for a little while, and then....

you all can guess what happened.
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Thank you for the read. Regular readers might have noticed that most of my writing is centred around romance, so you might wanna give a read to another story that I wrote, 'A Not So Good Date'.

I have also made an e-book for this, and the other story, which you can find on
Smashwords or on this blogpost.