The Story Of A Girl
Hi, my name is baby. This is not my real name, for sure, but this is all I know for now. In fact, everyone else still calls me baby, so I guess I'll have to do with this for the time being. This is my story.
Presently, I'm living with a lovely angel. She cares a lot about me and loves me like a mother loves her child. She takes care of all my needs and wishes, makes sure that I'm never sad. When I feel like crying, she would tickle me to make me laugh and hug me and listen to all my problems. She laughs with me instead of laughing at me, and always helps me when I get in trouble.
However, I've been through a lot before meeting her. It was quite a long time ago, but I remember it very well.
'It's a girl', I heard a female voice. The response was not very loud, apparently the other people in the room were not excited about me being a girl. Or maybe, my mother was too tired to respond. Yes, this is a better explanation. I mean, she's also a girl, so she should be excited about having a daughter. 'It's okay mother, but I expect a better reaction when you see me.', I said to myself.
Ever since I first heard my mother's voice, I've been eager to meet her. Yes...
Okay, maybe it was not the voice, but the fact that there is someone waiting to see me, someone who'll love me unconditionally, was enough to get me excited. I've planned a lot of mother-daughter stuff to do and much more baby tantrums before them. Specially the 'cry and get served' routine.
It makes life so easy, when your mother is around. And the fact that she is always around is the most comfortable feeling one can have. Correction, it is the best feeling one can have.
That moment when she scolds your elder siblings for making you cry, makes you feel so special. I hope that I'll have an elder brother too. It will be fun to get him in trouble. And I know that he'll not be angry with me, 'cause I am gonna be the most adorable baby in the world.
I don't mind how many or who all people will be around her, because I'll be the center of her attention.
While thinking all this, I probably missed a lot of the conversation between my mother and the other people in the room. But it's okay, and anyways, what else can I do in this dark place. Thankfully, there is the constant beating of my mother's heart, in an otherwise scary place. Couldn't there have been a source of light?
Over the last few days, there have been a lot of discussions going on between my mother and those other people. Most of it has been with a male voice, my father and another female voice.
Though most of those discussions haven't been clearly audible, I managed to make a few deductions from them. First, I don't have an elder brother and I'm gonna be the first child of my mother. This means that my 'getting your brother in trouble' plan is no longer possible. And second, my mum and dad are regularly arguing about something. It is probably about my name. Hahaha, how cute.
“Can anything be done about this, doctor?”, I heard my father's voice, as I woke up the next morning.
“What do you mean, sir?”, the voice replied. 'yes dad, what do you mean?', I thought to myself.
“Well, you know, this is going to be our first child, so, perhaps, we could have an abortion?”, he said.
'Abortion? What is an abortion?', I thought.
“Abortion? Oh, why?”, the voice was stunned. And I was getting very curios about this 'abortion' thing.
“Because she's a girl, doctor?”, he replied.
'Yes I'm a girl. So what?'
“So?”, the voice questioned.
“So we can't...”
“do you agree with this?”, my father was interrupted. Good. I didn't like his tone. He should not speak further.
“Yes she does?”, he said. Why does he have to speak? Am I being ignored here?
“Please sir, let her answer.”
“Yes I do agree.”, I heard my mother's voice. Phew! So this abortion must be a good thing after all.
“Sorry sir, but this is not right. It is not legal.”
'Why? What's the problem lady? My mother agreed so this should be done.', I thought.
“We know that. But maybe something can be worked out?”, my father spoke.
“Oh, okay. In that case sir, we would need to do a few tests just to be sure?”, she agreed.
That evening, I heard very low noises. It sounded like crying. But whoever it was doesn't know how to cry. It was extremely low, no one could hear the sound. What's the point of crying then?
Wait! Only I could hear the low crying sounds. My mother is crying. 'What happened, mom? What's wrong? Why are you crying? Don't worry mom I'll take the name you decide for me. Stop crying.', Why won't she stop? What's the matter with her?
“How can I save you?”, she spoke between her sobs. I wondered who she is saying this to.” How can I save you, my baby? Your father will never understand how important you are to me. I wish I could tell him. I wish I could save you.”
I couldn't believe what I heard. I tried to cover my ears, but my hands couldn't reach them.
Sleep was impossible for me that night. She too kept crying the whole night, trying to speak to me as well. But I didn't answer. I didn't know what to do or what was going on...
“Sorry sir, but the abortion is not possible.”, I was woken up by the doctor's voice.
“But why?”, my father almost shouted at her.
“Sir some complications have cropped up and the abortion can cause problems for your wife too. I don't think you would want to take that risk.”
“Hmm”, my father sounded disappointed.
'Take that', I thought. By now I've found out that this abortion was a bad thing, considering the reaction of my mother towards it. And now the abortion not being possible, is surely the best thing I've heard since last night. My mother was happy too, her heartbeat is enough to tell me that.
During the next few months, I found myself growing rapidly in size. I could feel the hair on my head. And now my hands were big enough to reach my ears. But hey, I didn't need to do that. My mother's heartbeat was the best possible lullaby, which of course was bettered by her voice singing to me.
She was happy, despite the regular arguments she had with dad. There were times she was screaming at him to beat her. I don't know why she would say that. But don't worry mum, after I come out, we'll punish dad. I was very angry at him for making my mother cry and trying for my abortion.
I still don't know what it actually is, but it was something that my mother did not want for me. Hence, daddy needs to be taught a lesson. Of course, he'll get a reward of my kisses after that, but first I will punish him.
I've been moving around a lot in my mother's tummy over the last few days. I've heard her say 'it's time, sweetheart' for quite a while now. I guess it means that it's time for me to come out.
My tiny heart gets racing whenever I hear her say that. I can't wait to see my mother and every minute feels like a day. I should look good when she sees me, I thought.
After exactly a hundred times that she said 'it's time, sweetheart', I felt myself sliding down her tummy. In response, she was screaming loudly. 'Sorry mommy, but I've to come out', I said to her.
It was after a lot of tries, that I could finally see a light source. 'Almost there mother, keep pushing', I thought.
A few minutes later, my mother stopped screaming. I was completely out, in the hands of another woman. 'No I want to be with my mother', I was about to cry but I was taken away by the other woman. I missed the chance to see her. I started crying, though inside me I knew I'll soon be seeing her.
While I was being taken away, I saw a man standing near my mother.
“It's a stillbirth”, he said to her.
I was confused. 'What does a stillbirth mean?', I thought as my eyes closed for a short sleep.
It had been quite a while since I last heard a voice, except some chirping sounds. I remember seeing a face with a lot of hair on it, but since then it had all been some big thing in front of me.
Suddenly, I felt something flowing in my surroundings. It was a lot different from what was inside my mother, and I didn't like the feel of it at all.
I was waiting for my mother to get me, but she was nowhere to be seen. Soon, the flowing liquid started to get in my eyes and I could no longer keep my eyes open for her.
When I say I was living with an angel, I meant a real angel. She came to pick me up from there and told me that I will be meeting an old man. The old man told me about what happened with me.
At times, I still get nightmares about my life, but this angel has always been there with me. I am 8 years young now and living happily with her.
When I told her that I want to meet my real mother, she said, “yes dear you will meet her one day. But why do you want to meet her?”
“To ask her”, I said, “what was my mistake, mother?”
The Story Of A Girl is the narration from the point of view of a victim of female infanticide. It may not be interesting for a majority of readers, but then a story on 'a social negative' should be more of an eye-opener.
Female infanticide is still prevalent in many places all around the world, being more common in south-east Asia. It is the earliest form of violence towards women, and it is hard to believe that a lot of women themselves favour this offence.
Despite a lot of efforts for prevention, the occurrences of this crime is still reported on large-scale. It is a must that one fights against this activity.
Thank you for the read. I made an e-book for the story, which you can find here. You can also get the book in different formats from Smashwords under the same title and pen name.
Due to request from readers, I've also written an explanation for the story, which you can find here.